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It's been a while   
01:18pm 18/10/2004
  Ok I've been working like crazy all week and haven't have much time to go online. But let me just update you with whats going on. I might be able to go and post and shit tomarrow or wednesday.

At work there's this girl I like but I was too shyt o ask her out. I feel kinda stupid about that, I mean I'm 21 and all but I was just terrified she was going to say no. So when I was about to ask her out I just ended up saying nothing instead and there was that stupid akward silence so then I start talking about something else. it sucked. I haven't been shy like this since I was in highschool.

Then there's Church. I got kicked out but now they keep trying to bring me back....I'll go more into this later.

Next there's this girl online who's trying to go out with me. It's weird I actually lead her on at first because I was bored but then I felt bad so I stopped.

So things are kinda sucky right now. But with little detail it's hard to see that.		  
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Today SUCKED!   
08:14pm 08/10/2004
 
mood: disappointed
Ok, so today is my birthday. I end up going out with Anna to get Ice cream. Afterwards We went to the conservatory and I played the piano for her and taught her how to play Clocks by coldplay. Then she's got to go and I gave her a hug and wanted to kiss her so I went for it. But she backed away and said no, that she didn't want to. All I wanted for my birthday was a kiss, honestly I haven't kissed anyone for a long time. But I was denied. Actually that's usually all I ever want on my birthday, not like I want to fuck each year. Just a kiss. Right now I'm a bit disappointed. I rarely see that girl as it is because she's so busy all the time.

Thing is, if I wanted I could go out and find someone else right now. But I'm not that heartless. Then I rarely see her so it's goign to take for ever to get her to warm up to me enough....And I'll deffinately be scared to attempt it ever again. Oh yeah, I alos feel slightly inferior due to the fact that I did want to kiss and she did not, kinda like when you like someone that doesn't feel the same about you. I guess I'm jsut bitching right now and should shut up so I will. These days no one will care they'll just fuckign call me a loser or something.		  
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hmm....lets start a little small. nothing too graphic, just a quiz   
08:23pm 05/10/2004
  1.Your name: uh...I'd like to remain annonymous
2. Are you named after anyone? No. I'm not.
3. Do you wish on stars? Actually yes.
4. Which finger is your favorite? My left middle finger. First one to finger a girl
5. When did you last cry? Sometime last week. it was a windy fucking day and the damn wind made me cry. I dislike wind in my eye
6. Do you like your handwriting? no, I don't
7. Who do you admire? no one I know on a personal level. Eveyone seems to disappoint me. Except maybe Adrian. He seems to be really really fucking good at anything he does.
8. What is the #1 priority in your life? I don't know....Too many important things right now.
9. Your favorite lunch meat? Salami
10. Any bad habits? biting nails, doing evil things just because it's such a perfect plan (you'll see, I'll write about it), not calling up new friends because I think they wouldn't want to hang out with me anyway, etc.
11. What store would you never be caught dead in? I don't know. I usually don't care what store I go into.
12. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? in the words of napolean dynomite "heck yes!"
13. Are you a daredevil? hmm...doing a double front flip from my trampoline to the rockhard ground....no, I don't think I am
14. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? No...I don't swear I wont tell if I plan to tell later.
15. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes, but never on purpose
16. Do looks matter? yes. yes they do. that, my friends, is the cold hard truth.
17. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone? not too long ago. I was talking to my older sister, she's fucked my life over so bad I always want to punch her when i see her. She doesn't know I feel this way, but I do.
18. Are you trendy? Honestly I don't really know what the hell trendy means.
19. What do you do to prevent anger? blot it out of my mind, go running, nothing, whatever.
20. Are you passive or aggressive? passive-aggressive
21. Who is your idol? no one.
22. Who is your second family? I don't need family.
23. Do you trust others easily? HELL NO! no no no no no
24. What did you play with as a child? Transformers, Nintendo, GIJoes, barbies (they strip for gijoe, Ken couldn't do shit about it cause they're hardcore military badasses), legos, Super Nintendo, my penis, etc.
25. What class in high school did you think is/was totally useless? sequntial math...i mean when was the last time i (or anyone else) walked up a hill and thought "gee i wonder what the slope of this hill is"? sorry but I had to keep this on from the person I stole the quiz from. I mean what a fucking dumbass. Sequntial math is was makes videogames so fucking awsome! Games are all about Math and physics!

Anyway I think the most useless subject was...um....hmmm...damn all classes seemed to have their uses here and there. I don't think I took a class that was completely useless. I'll get back to you on this one (yeah right I probly wont).
26. Have you ever been on radio or television? Yeah, big fuckin' deal.
27. Have you ever hurt someone? yes! it was great!
28. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yes
29. Do you feel understood most of the time? No. But I'm not the best at vocally expressing what I'm thinking. Actually I don't think people really ever are completely understood, well never 100%. Cause everyone's personal deffinition of each word varies, and sometime people don't have a word for what they're thinking.
30. Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? Upset stomach
31. Do you know what `sctief' is? no, but it sounds familiar
32. What is your nickname/s? oreo, crigger, enigma, a few others.
33. Could you be a vegetarian? um...no. I don't think I could.
34. Would you ever bungee jump? yes
35. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? wtf??? I don't understand. why would I untie them?
36. What are you worried about right now? not having sex today. I'm really horny right now. honestly I am.
37. Do you ever wear overalls? no, I lost mine. I was going to by a blue pair, some brown work shoes, a read hat with an M on it and a red tee-shirt and pretend to be mario.
38. Do you think you are strong? yes, I have to be. All the people who should be looking out for me step on my instead.
39. What's your favorite popsicle? the hulk hogan popsicle. they don't sell them anymore :(.
40. Who is most likely to respond? hell if I know
41: Who do you think won't respond at all? Alot of people wont.
43. when is your birthday? October 8th. I'm gonna be 21!!
44. Age: 21 dammit!! ok ok, I'm only 20 right now.
45. Favorite Color(s): Black, White, Grey, Blue, Navy, Scarlet, napalm brown.
46. Eye Color: dark fuckin' brown
47. Do you have a driver's license: yes
48. Last person who called you: Dave
49. Saw you cry: not sure
50. You had a fight with: I don't remember the guys name. But I sure kicked his ass. it was originally a sparring match until bozo got emotional and hit me in the face. He didn't know I'm not left handed or left legged.
51. You had a drink with: your mother.
52. You went to the movies with? My brothers and my sister.
53. You went to the mall with: Myself
54. Sent you a email: Some girl I met at a party. I don't have a phone right now so I'm on the e-mail system...dammit it's so degrading. I'm going to have that thing turned back on.
55. Best pick-up line that actually worked: You're sexy, wanna fuck? (yes that actually worked, but the girl had some weird tee-shirt...sorry I forgot what it said).
56. What are you thinking about right now? getting head
57. Do you daydream: yes yes yes
58. Who's the most exciting person you've met recently: Mike. He's a fag but it took me forever to reallize it. weird.
59. What's the worst thought that has ever crossed your mind: Killing this guy, who was stalking me, with a very slow and painful method. Torturing him all the while and explaining how I hate him to death and all that sort of stuff. It was just a thought, never followed through with it.
60. Who do you really hope calls you within the next 5 minutes: I don't have a phone dammit!		  
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  bizaro_confessi
 
 

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